The Ex Husband

So I met my ex husband the conventional way that girls of my upbringing and age were supposed to meet guys, at church. Yes my parents did meet in college but as it was a church owned college that is pretty much the same thing. The fact that I was at church at all, when I was 21 was surprising especially to me. Since I was a rebellious teenager and my sins included theft, forgery, having sex and becoming pregnant at 18, church and me were on strained terms. Just a month prior I had, had a one night stand with a Jew who worked at a kiosk. Needless to say “Just the tip”, is never just the tip. I buried how I terrible I felt about it with justifications to myself that it didn’t count because it was terrible and he was so small. His cock of course though if memory serves me right he was pretty short as well.

So I stopped hiding out at home and pretending that I was cool enough to be a Sugar Baby (I was on that site for only about two days before I realized I was completely unable to handle such a mature relationship) and went back to church. I had placed my baby for adoption right after birth, which is a decision I’ve never regretted and was the best thing for her, so there was no reason that I wouldn’t be successful at church dating. Needless to say being an unwed mother is frowned upon in most religious communities. The first Sunday there he was, slightly rebellious with his beard and smirk. He was tall, broad and funny as hell. I thought he was perfect. It took only three social settings before he took my number just in case. 

The rest progressed in the usual fashion except for the accelerated timeline due to our religious beliefs, customs & the fact that we were horny. Sex within a month which we weren’t supposed to be having, engaged in three months and married in another three months. I did refuse to immediately have babies so our daughter joined us two years after and my son was sixteen months behind her. Then things started to go off the rails.

When asked why I’m divorced, which seems to be a required question, I answer one way. Because he worked six months out of the four years we were married. That of course leaves people wondering one of two things, why I married him in the first place and why I stayed with him so long. The answers being, he wasn’t unemployed when I married him and I stayed with him because he was honestly my best friend. Now everything I just said is the truth but it isn’t the whole truth. It’s half the truth, the other half is he stopped having sex with me so I had sex with someone else.

Now that sounds like cheating plain and simple but it wasn’t. I had to go back to work when my son was still nursing because someone had to work. Pretty soon, enough was enough and my son switched over to formula. That single action catapulted my hormones into overdrive. I’ve always had a high sex drive but it exploded. I was obsessed with sex, having it consumed my every thought. The practice of having sex because I can’t remember the last time we’ve had sex it’s been so long wasn’t going to cut it. So in the shower one day before work I came up with a bold plan, if my husband won’t have sex with me I’ll find someone who will. He can’t get upset about that, I’ve already asked him and he won’t have sex more than every other day. Which by the way was in the exact same position for the last two years.

So I did. I strolled out and asked “Is it okay if I have sex with a tourist?”. His response was “Yes, as long as it’s just sex”. Within a month he had left me.

The Stats

Where should I start? Probably with the stats:

Sex: Female

Age: 27

Sign: Scorpio

Occupation: The Hospitality Industry and no I’m not a prostitute or a stripper.

Marital Status: Divorced

Children: 2

Residence: Las Vegas, NV, USA

Number of Men I’ve Slept w/: 30

I figured the only way this writing exercise worked is if I’m honest, 100% completely honest even about  the ugly stuff. The stuff no one wants to talk about. The stuff that makes women dislike you and men not respect you. Now don’t get me wrong, men love a slut, to fuck once but that’s it. Men still want to believe that they are special and that they have to work for it. Needless to say the fact that women have sex drives as well is completely and utterly disregarded. Also other women believe on a deep level that if you have multiple one night stands it must be because you are a good lay, have low self esteem or do anal. Either way “Their Men” are at risk if your around. What is much more likely is that what were supposed to be dates become one night stands because of the above mentioned hypocrisy of men. Or maybe I’m just a terrible dater.

Oh and this might be important for the narrative:

Looks: 7, I could be an 8 but my boobs could be better, my hair is short and my stomach looks like a crinkled paper bag after having two kids.