The Tourist

So let me start by saying the tourist who I slept with wasn’t really a tourist at all but an officer in the Air Force. Once I had my ex’s permission I decided that me sitting at a bar waiting for someone to hit on me was probably not a guarantee of good sex or a very safe idea. So online I went, to Ashley Madison to be exact. I posted my pics and a slightly biting blurb since I didn’t want anyone emotional. Then the flood came in, a fact I credit entirely to men utterly outnumbering women and not at all to my looks since I was a good 50 lbs heavier then I am now. I received so many dick pics it was obscene, fyi nobody likes them. Never ever with the exception of the one that was the size of a spray starch can, that was impressive.

In the hoard one guy stood out; bald and buff with some of the dirtest emails I have ever received. I’m talking romance novel quality, wet your panties and shiver in anticipation dirty. We exchanged a few emails and agreed to meet. He was much shorter then advertised, he said he was 5’10” but was probably 5’8″ on a good day. Believe me, men are compulsive liers about their height if they are under six foot. But he looked at me like no one had looked at me in a long time hungry, wolfish, like I was a delicious snack. I followed him back to his place  super nervous.

But then he did exactly what he said he’d do, he laid me on the counter of his kitchen and licked my pussy until I came. I was still nervous and uneasy because lets just say nobody had licked my pussy in a good three and a half years. My ex’s reasoning, pussies are gross, guess what that got him? Divorced but before that very few blow jobs, I believe in karma. It was amazing to say the least. I got on my knees to return the favor and found the smallest cock I had ever seen, teeny tiny. Plus side definitely no gag reflex.

The tourist though I think knew he had a teeny tiny cock so what followed was the best 12 hours of sex I’d ever had up until that point. Obviously broken up into three different “dates” and since he was only number five, my experience was limited. That being said 27 guys later, I’d still rank him in my top 5. It was the first time I’d ever gushed outside of masturbation, the first time I felt comfortable with anal (obviously such a tiny cock couldn’t cause much damage), the first time I had a G-spot orgasm and the first time my legs literally shook and I had to tap out. One orgasm rolling into another, a tiny muscular man who thought I was beautiful when I felt fat and rejected by my ex and he couldn’t stop fucking me, I was hooked.

I would return home smelling of sex with my head hurting from him pulling my hair and my pussy tingling to sleep next to my ex. I never told him exactly when I was with the tourist, simply saying I was going bar hopping. Our time was limited since he was going to be restationed in two weeks. So those dirty emails became dirty texts saying how much we couldn’t wait to fuck each other, how I loved the smell of him on me, how he couldn’t wait to fuck my tight ass and pull my hair, you know the usual stuff.

I was in the midst of planning our forth and last “date” when the shit hit the fan. I had a code on my phone but still took the precaution of erasing our messages daily. That day my ex was upset about the tourist and asked me if I’d stop seeing him if he asked me too. My response of course was “are you asking me to?” To which he replied “I just want to know you would”. His fear of course was that I was getting attached but since I knew he was leaving something I told my ex, it was moot point. It was just sex and he was leaving so breaking it off was a silly notion. My ex said that knowing that I was having sex with someone else made him want to have sex with me less. Otherwise I was damned if I did or damned if I didn’t.

So my ex read my text messages something I didn’t realize until he was watching tv and started crying. My heart broke because here is the man I love crying because I just want to get laid. I went to comfort him and that’s when he told me. Ridiculousness  ensued on his part including considering suicide and killing me obviously in reverse order. He told me he didn’t want to lose me and went to his mommy’s to decompress.

Nothing was ever the same, though we had brief periods of pretending everything was okay. The tourist moved and he became my counselor via email while things fell apart. When my ex left me never knowing I stayed in touch with the tourist, the binge began. Definitely where things got better and so much worse at the same time.


The Stats

Where should I start? Probably with the stats:

Sex: Female

Age: 27

Sign: Scorpio

Occupation: The Hospitality Industry and no I’m not a prostitute or a stripper.

Marital Status: Divorced

Children: 2

Residence: Las Vegas, NV, USA

Number of Men I’ve Slept w/: 30

I figured the only way this writing exercise worked is if I’m honest, 100% completely honest even about  the ugly stuff. The stuff no one wants to talk about. The stuff that makes women dislike you and men not respect you. Now don’t get me wrong, men love a slut, to fuck once but that’s it. Men still want to believe that they are special and that they have to work for it. Needless to say the fact that women have sex drives as well is completely and utterly disregarded. Also other women believe on a deep level that if you have multiple one night stands it must be because you are a good lay, have low self esteem or do anal. Either way “Their Men” are at risk if your around. What is much more likely is that what were supposed to be dates become one night stands because of the above mentioned hypocrisy of men. Or maybe I’m just a terrible dater.

Oh and this might be important for the narrative:

Looks: 7, I could be an 8 but my boobs could be better, my hair is short and my stomach looks like a crinkled paper bag after having two kids.